I noticed that our ego is like a treadmill, and we are constantly running from a deflated ego to an inflated ego. For someone with type 8 energy, running from feeling incompetent, powerless and vulnerable (deflated ego) to Competence, Power and Strength. Two sides of One coin(EGO).
My Inner critic messages are enmeshed with fear and deflates my ego when I hear:
You can’t handle this
You do not have what it takes
You are not important enough
You are not competent enough
You have no one to help you
You are all alone
What are you going to do now?
You are not in charge here
You have no control
You have absolutely no impact or influence in this situation?
What’s so special about you?
What makes you stand out?
My Inner critic Messages that I receive, which are enmeshed with anger and rage, inflate my ego, get me all fired up and moves me into action:
Who the hell do they think they are?
You do not have to put up with this crap if you do not want to
This is so unfair
You show them what it feels like, to be bullied, to be taken advantage of
You show them whose in charge
You take charge and get this organized
You can stand up to them
You are the only one who can do this
There is nothing you cannot do when you put your mind to it.
KABOOM!!! The firework is now out of the shed.
When do I get off the treadmill?
When I recognize that I am on it, and my ego has me in a trance.
Be with what I am running away from, allow it some space, walk curiously and compassionately with it, inquire, be present, breathe, allow what wants to show up.
Looking at the emotions helps us understand where the fuel for the energy is coming from. Looking at how I do anger versus why I do anger, uncovers a process of how the trance/fixation manifests. When we begin breaking down the patterns into how we do them we can then see new openings to where we can change our behaviours. We also begin to see we are the ones doing it. We open ourselves to choice and freedom versus a survival strategy.