Focus of Attention: Ideas, space, resources, energy. Attention automatically goes to what others want from me and whether that will intrude and overwhelm my need for space.
Fear: Being useless, incapable, or incompetent
Core Belief: I’m on my own. There is no support for me. I am the cause of my problems. People are better off without me.
Mental Habit: Personalize and cling to their ideas, their point of view, I observe as opposed to participate in life.
Miss the Mark: Holding onto what I have, time, energy, resourses, ideas
Coping Strategy: Be sufficient, minimize your needs
Inner Messages: It’s not okay to be too comfortable in the world
- I’m unprepared
- I don’t know what to do
- there is no time to prepare
- I need time to think
- don’t react
- don’t get involved
- if I get involved, they will want more
- I’ll never get through this
At their Best: Curious, inventive, analytical, objective, wise, perceptive, self-contained, sensitive
At their worst:intellectually arrogant, stingy, stubborn, distant, critical of others, unassertive, negative
Challenge: demands and expectations feel invasive, unreasonable needs for privacy, using logic to resolve relational difficulties
Paradigm: I exaggerate wanting to gain knowledge while I keep anonymous, to overcompensate a limiting belief that I am stupid, or do not know and am unable to represent myself.
People think “you must be thinking of something brilliant or you just want to be left alone.”
Keeping quiet and withdrawn only encourages their intrusive questions, and investigation which proves to me “the world Is intrusive or withholding and you have nothing to offer.”
Gifts: Perceptive, innovative, visionary
- Be more intense on the outside – don’t always keep your feelings in your head.
- Engage in conversation with others. People are interested in what is happening with you, share conversations about your work, things of interest, latest movies you saw. Believe it or not some people want to hear!
- Analyzing your feelings is not the same as feeling them. You need to experience them to understand them.
- You have a marvelous dry sense of humour. allow yourself to be goofy, wild and silly.
- Learn through experience. Learn through doing rather than thinking and from reading. Dive into the experience even if you aren’t perfect at it. There is a lot of value in the experience itself. Don’t think before you leap all of the time.
- Become more animated in your body, take up sports, outdoor activities.
- Enjoy your relationships, sing, dance, do all the weird things people do when they are in love
- Open up to different types of knowledge, intelligence. do not only use your thinking capacities, open up to the wisdom of your body and your feelings. Physical, mental, emotional and intuitive, do not only use your mind to learn. You will miss out on learning so much more.