Quest: – Seek to be right and perfect. Work to improve themselves and everything around them
Desire: – To be good and have integrity
Theme: – There is a right way, let me show you how.
Focus of Attention:- Doing right and having things done the right way. Attention naturally goes noticing what is right and wrong, good or bad, to perceiving error and correcting it. Attention goes to continual improvement.
Basic Fear: – Of being bad, imbalanced, defective, corrupt
Core Belief: I have to be right
Mental Habit:– Quick to judge self and others
Miss the Mark: – Resent that life does not work the Best way. I am annoyed that life does not unfold the way I think – I resist what is.
Coping Strategy:- Maintain High standards
Inner Messages:- insist I do what is right –
- I am never good enough.
- I am not perfect,
- I am wrong,
- I must work hard
- I should do this
- I have to do that
- I ought to…
- I must do the right thing
- I need to get things organized
- I’m on, I’m right, I do not have to listen
- Nothing is wrong, I do not get angry.
Sense of Self: “I am reasonable and objective”
At their Best:- conscientious, orderly, obligated, ethical, reliable, productive, fair, self-disciplined
At their Worst:- judgmental, critical, inflexible, dogmatic, overly serious, controlling, anxious
Challenges:- When focused on “what’s wrong” cannot see “what is right.” Overly critical, resentful and demanding. To become assertive wise guide of their own destiny. Become enmeshed in details miss the big picture.
Paradigm:– When they exaggerate being good – are compensating for underlying limiting beliefs that they are bad and unworthy and imperfect. Being overly perfectionist and critical elicits criticism, anger and avoidance from others. Confirms belief – “ WORLD IS critical and not the way it should be.”
Gifts at High Level:- Integrity, Mission oriented, Accepting
- Accentuate the importance of humour in your life, playfulnes and spontaniety.
- Eliminate the word “should” from your vocabulary Use I want to… or I don’t want to….
- Do not let one flaw in your performance make you feel worthless.
- Take vacations to get away from compulsive doing and working.
- Learn to accept anger as a normal and useful human condition.
- Get to know your inner critic.
- Learn to forgive yourself and others for flaws and mistakes.
- Learn to respect other’s way of doing things that are different from you way.
- Acknowledge your accomplishments